He had it comin'

Every marriage has their problems, From full blown screaming matches to arguing about who's turn it is to do the dishes. Ultimately it comes down to how you handle and deal with those problems that will make the difference in your marriage. For most couples the screaming matches don't happen every day, but it's the little things that will add up over time until one day a dirty sock is what breaks the relationship. I am a lover of musicals and in writing this post my husband reminded me of the first verse in the Cell Block Tango from the musical Chicago. I think that it is a great example of what can happen when you let perpetual problems build up.

"You know how people have these little habits that get you down

Like Bernie

Bernie, he liked to chew gum

No, not chew, pop

So I came home this one day

And I'm really irritated

And I'm looking for a little bit o' sympathy

And there's Bernie lyin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'

No, not chewin'

Poppin'

So, I said to him, I said "You pop that gum one more time"

And he did

So I took the shotgun off the wall

And I fired two warning shots

Into his head

He had it comin'

He had it comin'

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I betcha you would have done the same"

While this is a more extreme example of dealing with perpetual problems just think how differently the story would have been had they dealt with her annoyance at Bernie's gum popping differently.

Contrast this song with my own experiences with my husband Richard. (Don't worry there are no shotguns involved) Richard comes from a family of six boys, no sisters. So in his house was the courteous thing to leave the toilet seat up. Unfortunately for me I did not find this as courteous. Especially when I tried to use the toilet in the middle of the night and almost fell in a few times. I could have handled it like the convict from Chicago...but I like Richard to much for that. So instead whenever I found the toilet seat up I would promptly call Richard into the bathroom so that he could close it and give me kisses at the same time. And it worked, although it did take about a year, and my bladder being full for a few more seconds than normally comfortable.

Ultimately do your best to turn those perpetual problems into a moment of joy. For me it meant that I got more kisses from my husband when he left the toilet seat up. What can you do to change your attitude about the little things?